I wish this could be a happy post but zoladex injection 3 has caused a emotional break down. This drug gets to your head. Is it because what takes years naturally for your body to do, this injection does in a month? Bam menopause. Starting to see why women were put in institutions. Menopause is a beast.
Between communication problem's, misunderstandings while in this state causes a irrational behavior. I once read a women's post who said her doctor or her husband had a code word "zolly Wolly ". Referring to her being in a bad frame of mind. You get really sad, doubt, worry about every little thing. Yes, well at least for me about having kids or not being able to have them again. My thought process went to a darker thought. What if thing's don't work out with my boyfriend who is going to want a woman of my age who cannot have children? Scars all over her stomach and on hormones for the rest of her life? I can't even cuddle with my child because the hot flashes are so bad. Feel as if I'm rejecting her, have a short fuse etc... what if she's not getting the love I always give her? You keep going deeper and deeper in depression. You feel numb to everything until BAM! It needs to spill out in tears and angst. My dearest girlfriend who I tell my deepest thoughts to caught me. She listened to my irrational side. Gave me words of encouragement and love I so deeply needed to hear over the phone. You see one reason I got so bad was I'm the strong one in my group and family. Usually I have words of wisdom, comfort and knowledge. The strength to hold on. What happens when the strong willed people break down? Who catches them? Answer your closest girlfriend who know you and knows you too have weak moments.
Have heart you pull out of this. Surround yourself with love, physical contact ( hugs) find small things to smile at. Towards the end of the month you feel better. One thing that helped me is herbal teas. Not only did this help with water retension ( which is a cause of such mood swings), it helped get your libido back a little, it calms your mood swings and hot flashes too. Way better than going on all the drug's they want to put you on.
Tea: nettle, dandelion and vitex ( Chaste Tree or Chaste Berry tree). Recognize this my endometriosis friend's? Some of you are probably nodding yes. For this is the same stuff in teas that are recommended to help with our cramps and pain with endo. The only thing you shouldn't take is black chosh at this time. Can't remember why but they said no. This really does help. I take it every other day. I only do Chaste Tree twice a week since it is putting some estrogen in your body but not enough to mess with treatment. My Dr. Approved this. So Please ask your Dr. First.
Okay onto those nasty hot flashes. Yes they get worse. Not so sure summer was a good idea to be on Zoladex. Humidity, plus 88 degrees plus hot flashes equals misery. Cotton, light clothes ladies. Polyester or non-breathable fabric not your friend at this point. They are not just hot fluxes but sweats! Nightly sleep well your going to sleep less sorry. Fans, hardly no clothes and a sheet is all your going to need. Even the sheet is too much at times. Remember your hot flashes are intense you know when your getting them. You go from cuddling to throwing people off you.
I've found certain thing's make the hot flashes worse. Caffeine ( I'll deal love my coffee/ chocolate too much), alcohol only takes one drink to increase these bad boys. Greasy food which this just might be me but it tends to increase them. Also being upset gets them going.
One thing that work's for me to get these in control and water retension down. Working out! Yes, walk, run, body rock (hiit training). This helps you sweat and gets a lot of water out of your body. Ice water lots and lots of water. Eating some what healthy. Very simple thing's but they help.
As for my poor daughter who likes to cuddle. I've told her to squeeze her teddy bear that use to be mine growing up. Every time she hugs the bear he hugs me. Yes, I'll cuddle with her to a point then tell her "mommy is hot." Bless her heart she fan's me or turns a fan on for me. She has seen my stomach with bruises and band-aids. Like you can keep a child from not barging in on you lol. Poor thing goes quiet. I just reassure her it is mommy getting healthy for her and that it is for a short time. Keep my fears, tears away from her as much as I can. She knows the basic. Mommy is sick but getting better. She is the light of my life and helps me through this more than she knows by keeping me going.
Remember your friends sometimes forget you are taking Chemo because you are basically acting normal. They don't know the battle we're fighting in our head and body. Be honest about how your feeling communicate to love one's as much as possible. You tend to get deep in your head. Apologize for outburst. Deep breathes. We're doing this to be pain free. Is it worth it? You will want to say No. Then you say Yes! Plus to this no painful period's. Been so nice not being in complete pain. I spoke with another endo suffer and she summed it up nicely. "Sad that being labor didn't phase me. The pain was not nearly as bad as my periods." This puts what we're going through in perspective, well for me it does. Be Pain Free!
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